I am so tired, any advice PLEASE!!

[sianinspain]

Hello! My little man was 6 months old yesterday and is waking several times a night. He started to sleep through over christmas but little by little his sleeping has been getting worse. I though maybe he was ready for something more than his milk so I started weaning 3 weeks ago but that has not helped the problem, though obviously he is still only eating small amounts. I've also tried good night milk but without success. Sometimes he will wake up briefly and settle himself but generally I have to go to him. He still sleeps in our room so I hear every movement, I'm hoping to get him into his own room soon (though hubbie against this!) and even if he doesn't sleep through hubbie and I can take turns going to him. I know it could be teething, he's been bothered by his gums on and off for a while but no teeth so far. Today I have just been so tired and I just feel so down in the dumps, I didn't even have the energy to take my little man for a walk, we just made it as far as the garden to sit in the sun. I go to bed early but can't sleep as I'm waiting for him to wake up. Thanks in advance for any advice, I'm not sure how many more sleepless nights i can deal with! x

[Jonahsmummy]

Hi there,
Sorry to hear what you are going through - I can really sympathise! I can tell you what we did and you can take it from there.
Our child is now 16 months old but from about 4 months to 6 months old, his night sleeping hours got longer and longer but he still wasn´t sleeping all the way through the night - he was still in our room, in his own cot. We´d started him on solids at about 5 and a half months old that seemed to improve things slightly but still, no full nights´sleep.
We finally came to the conclusion that no matter how quiet we were, when we crept into the room when it came our time to come to bed, it was disturbing him, causing him to wake up. We decided that this was not fair to him nor to us and took the decision to put him into his own room - he was 6 months old.
The first night, he cried for four hours before settling down and going to sleep. I resisted constantly checking on him etc as I didn´t want to start a bad habit that would continue and continue - plus, I wanted to start as I meant to go on. I felt a bit cruel but I made sure he was okay, comfortable and warm enough but that was it. The next night, he slept for 12-13 hours straight and still does every night. He goes to bed around 7 every night and he and we are happy for it. I now check on him only once he´s sound asleep just to make sure he´s warm enough or whatever. Sometimes, you just have to be really strong and do what is best for your child in the long run not what makes you feel better as a parent - even if it makes you feel bad or guilty for a night or two.
I may go in his room if he´s had a bad dream or something and just comfort him for a few mintues. I stroke his head or pick him up - without saying anything - then I put him back in his cot, settle him back in and leave his room. He´s usually back to sleep within minutes. The ony exception we make is if he´s sick or something - but that´s a different matter. We try to keep to a routine and be consistent as this is normally what children like and thrive on.
I once read that it´s not only healthy for a child to get a good night´s sleep, but it´s their right to have a good night´s sleep as well and I have to agree.
It worked for us but you know your child better than anyone else. Be strong and good luck! I hope it all works out for you! x

[PilatesParaTi]

Hi, I can sympathise too! We all probably can!
My little one slept through from 6 weeks to 6 months, then he suddenly stared waking several times a night. For us it wactually coincided with weaning. I know most people find the opposite but once we started introducing solids he started waking. I didn't even associate it at the time.
In the end, when I was feeling like it sounds you are now(!) I stopped feeding him back to sleep at night (I'm breastfeeding). THe first few nights I cuddled him and offered him water only. It took a few days for him to get the idea there was going to be no feed then he stopped waking at all. I can't say his sleeping is 100% even now ( he's 16months too ), but when he does wake he tends to settle himself down quickly enough. He's still in our room, in his own cot.
It will get better! They are all just phases, none last that long in the scheme of things. I know how it can get you down and you wonder if you'll ever sleep well again. But you willl, and so will your baby. Rest when you can and try and get out a bit -not easy with this rain! A bit of fresh air always lifts my spirits, even when I have to drag myself out.
All the best xx

[sianinspain]

Thank you both for your replies Here's hoping for sleep filled nights soon!!

[Lesley78]

Don't know if this will help but when Archie wasn't sleeping well I was keeping him up till around 10 / 11pm thinking then he would last longer but in actual fact the earlier I put him to bed I found that he sleept better so now he goes to bed around 8pm and sleeps until around 8am, absolute bliss but I haven't forgotten how bad I felt before he was doing this and it was when he was around 7 or 8 months before he started to do this, I tried all the cereal in the food, goodnight milk etc. but none of it worked, I think they just do it in their own time, just make sure they are not too hot or too cold as that may be waking them.

[lynnshewan]

Hiya Sian,

Think everyone has those spells, just that some seem to last longer than others unfortunately!!
My little cherub has never been a good sleeper and believe me i have tried everything. She is now 28 months and still has nights when she wakes.

It is really hard going, but maybe an idea is for you to sleep in another room and let hubby look after baby if he can so you can get a decent sleep??

Is the room totally silent? Could you stand to have a radio playing very slightly? I know my little one sleeps better with background noise.

As for putting them to bed early, quite difficult here as activities go on later at night, and putting them to bed so early means that in summer you are tied to the house in an evening.

All babies are different, and its just a case of persevering, they will find their own pattern. I tried all sorts from routines, to feeding later, to different types of bedding and beds, lights, music etc. I couldn't leave her to cry it out as she made herself sick which in turn made her panic.

She now sleeps in a toddler bed in my room with her bed next to mine and generally she has a decent nights sleep. Her being in with me makes her feel safe and i feel better knowing that she is getting a good sleep.

[membles]

Hiya

Sorry you are feeling so tired - if it's any help they all go through stages like this.

Everyone has different advice, and it's up to you in the end, so don't feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with.

Personally, I would recommend putting him in his own room if you can. I had to do this when mine was 2 months, as I was just listening to him and waiting for him to wake up - like you have said.

Since then, I have never let him sleep in my bed (or room) since then - if he is ill or has nightmares then I go to his room for a bit. I have been really strict with myself about putting him to bed awake and teaching him to go to sleep by himself. (supernanny style with a good bedtime routine and being consistent!). I am sooo happy I did this as I now have 3 1/2 year old who goes to bed with no problems whatsoever, and sleeps all night. If he wakes in the night he can settle himself without me. He is confident enough as well to sleep at his friends house without us .

I know many people with 3 and 4 year olds who won't sleep in their own bed, and it's usually because of the things the parents do, rather than the children themselves. So I really think it is best ot sort this out now and reap the benefits later!

Having said that, please don't take offence anyone reading, I am not calling anyone bad parents, and I do know that some children are more difficult with sleeping then others!

Hope this helps!

michelle